The best Blessing of all – The cross

My name is Peter and I was there that day…

Hidden behind the crowd, I watched Him die. On that horrible cross, He hung. The sky turned dark. The sun hid away. With His last breath, He took our sins away. But I didn’t know, I didn’t understand. In my grief, all I could feel was my shame. I had betrayed the One I loved.

He’d warned me beforehand but in my misplaced assurance and cockiness, I had ignored it. He’d said: “Peter, Satan will try to sift you out but I have prayed for you. Before the rooster crows, you will have denied me three times.” With tears streaming down my cheeks, I hung my head, mortified.

Now, He was dead. Our hope was gone. Total despair entered my soul. How could I have done that? I would never see His gentle eyes again, full of a love I’d never even experienced before. He was the Christ. That I knew. And I had given up my chance of ever being with Him. How could I ever call myself a disciple again? How could He possibly forgive me now?

Lifting my head, I saw Joseph of Arimathea take His body down. The Passover celebration was in full swing. It was not fit for Jesus’ body to hang there while the Sabbath was on. I followed at a distance and saw him take the body of my precious Lord and lay it in his own tomb, wrapped up in a clean linen cloth. A huge rock was rolled into place. All hope gone!

On the morning of the third day, after the Passover Feast had ended, Mary and Mary Magdalene hastened back from the tomb. Eyes wide with wonder and amazement, they told us that an angel had said our Lord had risen and for the disciples and I to go and meet Him in Galilee. Me? Me? My heart sank. If that was true and my Lord had risen, how could ever face Him again after what I’d done? But my heart surged with hope. He had asked for me by name! He was still thinking of me. I ran to the tomb as fast as my legs could take me. I stooped down and saw the linen clothes lying there, folded nicely. Marvelling at this unexpected development and in awe of what had just happened, I wondered what it all meant.

When Jesus appeared in the upper room where we were hiding, I hung at the back. I was overjoyed to see Him but my guilt would not let me approach Him. A few days later, at the Sea of Tiberias, a few of us went fishing but caught nothing. When morning came, a man asked us whether we had any food.

“Cast the net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” He said. We cast the net and could scarcely draw it in for the multitude of fish we caught in that one swoop. John cried out: “It is the Lord.”

Ashamed at my nakedness, I threw on my clothes and plunged into the sea. Arriving at the shore, I saw Jesus near a coal fire, cooking up food. Fear and guilt overwhelmed me, instantly taking me back to that dreadful night where around another coal fire, I had betrayed him, not once, not twice but three times.

After breakfast, Jesus called me to Him. Three times, He asked me if I loved Him. Grieved, I nodded and in despair, all bravado and cockiness gone, I told Him: “Lord, you know all things, You know I love you.” When I looked up, I gazed, with awe, into His eyes full of love and compassion. I knew He had restored me whole. I’d denied Him three times and three times He had called me again to Him. A wave of forgiveness washed all over me. I now knew what the Cross meant. He’d redeemed me completely and brought me back into His embrace. He even recommissioned me to feed and tender for His sheep and His lambs. My heart was ready to explode, so full of relief, of love, of hope. That’s when I understood His total forgiveness, His relentless love that goes beyond anything we could even imagine. That day, I left a changed man.

When I read this story about Peter, I realise it is also my story. For years, I’d tried to do many things for God in my own strength, believing, like Peter, that I could show Jesus how good I was. I felt like I had to prove to Him I could do it, that I could make myself better, so that I could stay saved. I often failed miserably until that day when I was there too. It is only then that I truly understood what had happened that day at the Cross. On that day, Jesus redeemed me from all our sins, past, present and future. He is the One who works in me to will and to do of His good pleasure. His love goes far beyond anything I could ever imagine. And it is His love that changes me from within. The day I understood about His grace, I left completely changed.

The more I realise how much He loves me, the more I love Him in return. No longer do I need to try hard to please Him. It grows organically by itself like a healthy plant in a good soil. I understand I am His beloved child and nothing can separate me from His love. Nothing, not even myself.

If, like Peter, you think you have forfeited your entry into His kingdom or your access to His love, understand He has forgiven you and loves you with an unconditional love. He has never let you go and will never let you go. You are held firmly in His hands. Rejoice in His love and forgiveness. This is what the message of the Cross is all about. He paid for our sin in full.

Arise. It is a new day. Our Saviour is alive. And He loves you.